Fall is definitely in the air with winter just around the corner. Football is nearing its end, Halloween is over, Flu shots have been given. Typically I don't start feeling "down" or "depressed" until halfway thru January. This year has been different, I already feel bummed out and like I just want to lay in bed all day.
As a stay at home mom there is not a way to measure my success; there is no paycheck. I have always felt if my kids and husband are happy, if they are fed, and my house is clean(really clean) I am doing my job. Personally, if I am eating clean and at the top of my game physically; if my workouts are on and I am teaching good classes than I am succeeding.
Well, my eating is not as clean as I want it, I feel like I am never accomplishing what I want at the gym. I am stumbling thru all of my classes; I try and talk myself out of working out because I am no longer the best at what I do. I am not happy with the way I look; because I know I can look better. My house is never spotless anymore; dishes, laundry, yard work, homework. Everything is piling up and I don't want to do it.
Something has got to change; how did I used to do it? How did I use to say NO to the sweets, how did I count my calories and eat clean ALL the time, How did I drink a gallon of water a day? How did I want to sweep and vacuum and mop and make my house so clean that people would ask if we "really" lived here. What has changed? What am I doing different?
Crossfit has started a new challenge this month, the 21 day challenge. Normally I would look past all the details but this one caught my eye.
PART I
Pick at least 1 and no more than 3 food/beverage that is contributing to the decline of your health. These will be avoided for the first 21 days of November – completely. This will be a food/beverage that you know should be eliminated, but you justify/rationalize keeping.
PART II
Because health is much more than just the food we eat or don’t eat:
Pick at least one and no more than 3 activities/habits that are contributing to the decline of your health. These could be things you need to eliminate OR ADD to your life. For example; not getting enough sleep due to lack of effort (ADD sleep to your weekly routine)…texting while driving (ELIMINATE during the Challenge!)….not showing up for running/rowing wods because you hate or are not good at running/rowing (ADD running/rowing at least 2x per week)…not spending enough time with family due to work/TV/computer (do you really need this reminder??). These are just a few examples, they key in Part II is not only about eliminating the bad stuff, but also incorporating the good stuff – the kind of stuff that can enrich our life.
So this one I decided to take seriously; I knew the diet part that I wanted to do. I picked two things:
1. Eat clean, I know how to eat clean I did it for years. I have been coaching people to eat clean for years successfully. I have been lazy, I have been letting those around me pull me down and dictate what I put in my body. I have been pulling myself down.
2. Only 1 diet soda a day. I drink WAY too much soda, for the past couple years I have felt that drinking 8+ cans of soda a day is better than drinking other "drinks" that I could be putting into my body. I have been justifying it. NO MORE.
The non-diet part I put a little more time and thought into it. I had to think what has been different this year, why am I not happy? What am I doing or not doing that is new? FACEBOOK!
1. NO FACEBOOK: I started facebook less than a year ago. I spend a lot of time on facebook, when things happen or I hear something cool I think "I need to post this". It also makes me feel a bit inadequate in a weird way. I see all these women posting tons of pictures of themselves out with their girlfriends, they are at clubs, restaurants, bars, concerts. I don't want to do these things, when given the choice I will always pick being with my family. But, it makes me feel that maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe I am the weird one making the strange choice by spending time with my family instead of my friends. Am I weird because I don't do these things that so many other women do? Is there something wrong with me because I don't have the desire for a "girls night'?
The decision was easy, NO FACEBOOK for 21 days; if I am happy at the end of 21 days I will not get on it again.
2. No texting and driving, it is not safe and I am setting a bad example for my boys.
3. No scale, I don't know why I weigh myself. I weigh A LOT, I always have and I probably always will. Looking in the mirror and the way my clothes fit should be enough. The scale got thrown out!
I don't know if these small goals will make me happy. I don't know if these are the things that are making me unhappy. I DO know that I felt amazing yesterday, I was so productive, I got so much done. I felt like a better person, a better wife, and a better mother. I was shocked at how often I wanted to go check facebook, it is a habit. I found myself thinking of it all the time. I couldn't believe all the free time I had. Instead of sitting on the computer I accomplished so many other things. I did things that used to be good habits that had gotten replace by computer time. I felt like instead of being lazy I was doing my part as a wife and a mother. I realized in one day that I had been feeling guilty for the time that I had been spending on facebook. I felt guilty because I knew that while my husband was hard at work I was sitting on my butt facebooking instead of maintaining a home and family. That guilt is what has been making me unhappy.
I hope the next 20 days are as good as the first.
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