I am Strong

After posting " A change of Seasons, a Change of Attitude"  I came across this on a website that I frequent,  it made me cry.  It was so fitting for the way that I have felt lately, it is really fitting in the crossfit community.  I know that most of you don't "get" crossfit, you don't understand why we love it so much.  Why we always come back for more.  It has changed my life and the way that I look at fitness and the way I look at my body.  I have always had a muscular build, even when I wanted and tried to be skinny I couldn't do it; it was physically impossible.  Crossfit has made it okay for me to have my big muscles.  Crossfit has made big muscles on women sexy.  But it is hard, everyday there is a new challenge; a heavier weight, a new move, a longer distance.  Then when I think that I have got it something new is thrown my way, then some hot 20 something girl comes in and gets her double under and pistol squat on her first try while I have been working on mine for a year.  I love Crossfit because it DOES give me a challenge, as a stay at home mom I don't have a lot of challenges; besides bedtime!  I love Crossfit, even when I don't.

Remind me I am strong. Please.

Most days, I know this.In spades, as my mom would say. I know I am strong like I know my front squat max or the movements in Fran. Usually remembering my strength is not a problem.

But sometimes I forget.

When the world gets overwhelming. When everybody needs something from me and nothing I do is on time, or enough, or even close to adequate.

I know these faults, these shortcomings, these glaring errors that yawn in their enormity, are most likely illusions in my own brain. But still they are there, gnawing at me, reminding me that I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not strong enough.

So, do me a favor and remind me of something better. On those days when you see me slump a little, or falter, or my eyes seem kind of wet for no reason. These are the days that I’m weak inside and the world is simply too much, the weight is too heavy, and the pace seems so fast. On these days, remind me that I’m strong and I’ll stomp those doubts and I’ll come through.

It’s only a simple statement and I only need it once, maybe with a hand on the shoulder. “Hey, you are strong.”

It’ll carry me farther than you’ll ever know.

Happy Halloween!

Change of Seasons, change of attitude.

Fall is definitely in the air with winter just around the corner.  Football is nearing its end, Halloween is over, Flu shots have been given.  Typically I don't start feeling "down" or "depressed" until halfway thru January.  This year has been different, I already feel bummed out and like I just want to lay in bed all day.

As a stay at home mom there is not a way to measure my success; there is no paycheck.  I have always felt if my kids and husband are happy, if they are fed, and my house is clean(really clean) I am doing my job.  Personally, if I am eating clean and at the top of my game physically; if my workouts are on and I am teaching good classes than I am succeeding.

Well, my eating is not as clean as I want it, I feel like I am never accomplishing what I want at the gym.  I am stumbling thru all of my classes; I try and talk myself out of working out because I am no longer the best at what I do.  I am not happy with the way I look; because I know I can look better.  My house is never spotless anymore; dishes, laundry, yard work, homework.  Everything is piling up and I don't want to do it.

Something has got to change; how did I used to do it?  How did I use to say NO to the sweets, how did I count my calories and eat clean ALL the time, How did I drink a gallon of water a day?  How did I want to sweep and vacuum and mop and make my house so clean that people would ask if we "really" lived here.  What has changed?  What am I doing different?

Crossfit has started a new challenge this month, the 21 day challenge.  Normally I would look past all the details but this one caught my eye.

PART I
Pick at least 1 and no more than 3 food/beverage that is contributing to the decline of your health. These will be avoided for the first 21 days of November – completely. This will be a food/beverage that you know should be eliminated, but you justify/rationalize keeping.
PART II
Because health is much more than just the food we eat or don’t eat:
Pick at least one and no more than 3 activities/habits that are contributing to the decline of your health. These could be things you need to eliminate OR ADD to your life. For example; not getting enough sleep due to lack of effort (ADD sleep to your weekly routine)…texting while driving (ELIMINATE during the Challenge!)….not showing up for running/rowing wods because you hate or are not good at running/rowing (ADD running/rowing at least 2x per week)…not spending enough time with family due to work/TV/computer (do you really need this reminder??). These are just a few examples, they key in Part II is not only about eliminating the bad stuff, but also incorporating the good stuff – the kind of stuff that can enrich our life.


So this one I decided to take seriously; I knew the diet part that I wanted to do. I picked two things:
1. Eat clean, I know how to eat clean I did it for years.  I have been coaching people to eat clean for years successfully.  I have been lazy, I have been letting those around me pull me down and dictate what I put in my body.  I have been pulling myself down.
2.  Only 1 diet soda a day.  I drink WAY too much soda, for the past couple years I have felt that drinking 8+ cans of soda a day is better than drinking other "drinks" that I could be putting into my body.  I have been justifying it.  NO MORE.


The non-diet part I put a little more time and thought into it.  I had to think what has been different this year, why am I not happy?  What am I doing or not doing that is new?  FACEBOOK!
1. NO FACEBOOK:  I started facebook less than a year ago.  I spend a lot of time on facebook, when things happen or I hear something cool I think "I need to post this".  It also makes me feel a bit inadequate in a weird way.  I see all these women posting tons of pictures of themselves out with their girlfriends, they are at clubs, restaurants, bars, concerts.  I don't want to do these things, when given the choice I will always pick being with my family. But, it makes me feel that maybe I am doing something wrong.  Maybe I am the weird one making the strange choice by spending time with my family instead of my friends.  Am I weird because I don't do these things that so many other women do?  Is there something wrong with me because I don't have the desire for a "girls night'?  
The decision was easy, NO FACEBOOK for 21 days; if I am happy at the end of 21 days I will not get on it again.
2. No texting and driving, it is not safe and I am setting a bad example for my boys.
3. No scale, I don't know why I weigh myself.  I weigh A LOT, I always have and I probably always will.  Looking in the mirror and the way my clothes fit should be enough.  The scale got thrown out!


I don't know if these small goals will make me happy.  I don't know if these are the things that are making me unhappy.  I DO know that I felt amazing yesterday, I was so productive, I got so much done.  I felt like a better person, a better wife, and a better mother.  I was shocked at how often I wanted to go check facebook, it is a habit.  I found myself thinking of it all the time.  I couldn't believe all the free time I had.  Instead of sitting on the computer I accomplished so many other things.  I did things that used to be good habits that had gotten replace by computer time.  I felt like instead of being lazy I was doing my part as a wife and a mother.  I realized in one day that I had been feeling guilty for the time that I had been spending on facebook.  I felt guilty because I knew that while my husband was hard at work I was sitting on my butt facebooking instead of maintaining a home and family.  That guilt is what has been making me unhappy.  


I hope the next 20 days are as good as the first.  

A Star Is Born!

Riley is the star in his classroom this week, typically in any other class this means that the student is highlighted all week long; they get special privileges and responsibilities.  This year they get to make a poster and bring in a treat.  They are the star all week long but according to the boys there is nothing special that they get to do besides the poster.

I hate making posters, I feel it is a waste of time and supplies.  Erik and I don't even print pictures anymore, everything is digital.  So rather than waste countless hours on a poster that the kids can't even see from their desks I decided to make a movie.   I am just learning how to use iMovie and it seems like every time I use it I learn something new.  I let Riley pick all the pictures that he wanted and the songs that he wanted.  We tried to keep it around 5 minutes.

Like always when I look at pictures it makes me(and Erik) want to have another baby(or two).  It also makes me realize just how blessed I am to have two healthy and happy  boys.  It is never hard to find pictures of them smiling; because they are always smiling.  It is however hard to find pictures of them separate, they are always together; laughing, and playing, arms around each other as they pose for the camera.

There is always a challenge with parenting, it seems that my boys take turns being challenging.  For 6 months Carter will be a pill then they switch and Riley will turn into a stinker and Carter will be great.  For the past 9 months  or so Riley has been my challenge; until recently.  I don't know if I changed my attitude toward him or if he is just catching on.  He has been so pleasant, so loving for the past few weeks.  It is no longer unusual for him to pull me into his bed at night and give me a big hug and tell me he loves me.  Each morning he wakes me with the biggest smile I have ever seen, then he crawls under my covers and snuggles with me for the next 30 minutes until it is time to get ready for school.  I have loved having him in my life, he has so much energy and such a great outlook on life.  Putting this short video together reminded me just how much I adore him.  I want life to slow down just a bit so I can enjoy every second that I have with him.  

Napa

Erik had some business and personal things to take care of in the Napa area this last weekend.  For  the first time in 10 years we got to spend some time alone without the kids.

What I felt in Napa without the kids is so hard to describe;  from the moment we approached the airport our relationship changed into something it hasn't been in a long time.  Don't get me wrong Erik and I love each other and show that love, but we have responsibilities and those responsibilities change how we can respond to each other.  Walking to the terminal there was an increased love or spark between us; we could be more playful with each other; we could flirt!

Throughout the whole trip, the car ride to Napa, moving into the hotel, taking tours of amazing estates, eating at restaurants; I loved every minute of it.  I didn't have to entertain anyone, or break up any fights. I only had to order for myself, dress myself, teach myself.  But, there was still this void; I found myself looking over to Erik saying, " the boys would love this" or "could you imagine what the boys would think" and "look at the size of that cookie, they would be in heaven".

Is it 10 years of habit?  Is it because we have never left them? No, it is because we love being with them. As much as they can drive us crazy we love spending our time, all of our time with them.  I can't think of anyone that we would rather be with.  Friends call, people invite us places; restaurants, movies, vacations, events.  We always ask "with kids?"  If they say no, we decline.

We love the time that we had away from them,  I think we should do it more often.  But  WE decided to have kids, Erik and I made that decision.  We need to be responsible for them always and forever.  Yes, breaks are needed and everyone might feel they need to get away, but when we made the choice to have kids, we made the choice to raise them.  With that choice we give up late nights, girls nights, guys nights, weekends away, sometimes gym time, and even the celebration of anniversary's with out kids; really, why celebrate without them, don't they make your marriage what it is?

I watch and listen to friends that will take any excuse that they can find to get away, sometimes they have no excuse.  I see them leave their kids with neighbors that they barely know, they leave them with older siblings that really shouldn't be left alone with that kind of responsibility. They take advantage of their parents who should be enjoying retirement.  I can't help but think that if my parents left me all the time for something other than business trips, if they were always looking for an excuse to get away; I would have been hurt, even at a young age I would have wondered why my mom always wants to get away.

They are already growing up faster than I would like, and one day they will move out.  Hopefully if we time things right Erik can retire around that same time.  When this time comes, and it will come, we will have all the time in the world.  I am willing to bet that we will miss them; that we will call them and ask them to come join us for dinner, for movies, for a weekend get a way.  As much as they drive us nuts, we love and cherish every moment we can get with them.

I loved Napa, every minute that I had alone with Erik I will never forget.  But I love being a mom and a housewife, it's what I do, it's who I am.  I love my children. I am going to find every excuse that I can to spend more time with them.  They are 10 years old, I know the journey of a mother never ends but it won't be long before they are going to be out of the house.  I want every second that I can have with them.  There is no good excuse for finding time to spend away from your family.  There are only good excuses for finding time to spend with them.  I will take any excuse I can find!

The Bubbas 9th year

Here we are hitting the double digits, it is hard to believe that they are already so old!  I feel like our little family does so much every day, week, month, year.  I wanted to share with you just some of what the boys did in their 9th year of life.  Maybe one day they can look back on this video and realize just how good they had it!

First day of School

What a summer,  I have to admit that I almost feel ripped off a little.  I didn't get to do all the fun things that I usually take the boys to do and it makes me sad.  Actually what really happened is when we had the time and I asked, "do you want to go to the park, the zoo, the aviary.  Do you want to go on a bike ride, swimming, or a hike?"  They never wanted to, they want to "hang" with their friends or go ride their bikes around the neighborhood; but never with me.

I remember being 10 yrs old, if I look back on my childhood that is the age that I have distinct memories of where I was, what I was doing, and how I felt.  I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood, running in and out of all of my friends houses and as long as I was home for dinner thats all that mattered.

It scares me to think that I remember my teacher Mrs. Macintosh, the songs we sang, my first boyfriend Jeff Larsen, my first bra, and my first migraine.  I was old enough to know things and do things on my own but I still wanted my parents help; but not in front of my friends.  I road my bike to and from school everyday and if my mom wasn't home when I got there it was no big deal; I went out and played, or sat in front of the t.v. with a jar full of skippy.

As a parent I am absolutely terrified of my kids memory.  Not that I don't try my hardest every day to be the best parent that I can be, I do.  But, now I feel I have to put in that extra effort because they will undoubtedly remember things for the rest of their lives.

So this morning as I send them off for their first day of school, I snap this picture; they will remember this Jersey as being the outfit that they were so excited to wear.  They will remember Mrs. Hart; I hope she is good.  They will remember that all their friends are in the same class this year.  They will remember that the 2 of them were the number one pick for the Bountiful Braves gremlin football team.  They will probably find a girl they like, or maybe two.  But above all of that, I hope that they remember that their mom was here for them; to make them breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  To take them to school, to football, and to their tutor;  even though they hate going maybe one day they will be glad.  I hope they remember that I was there for the bike rides if they wanted me.  That I can still bounce them on the tramp even though they almost weigh as much as me.  And at night after the evening battle of brushing their teeth and washing their face, I hope they remember that I was there to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight.

Happy Anniversary

Each morning I wake and every night I fall asleep I can't help but think of how lucky I am for so many things, but the one thing that I always feel so blessed for is my marriage.  When I look back to my dating years and I think about the boys that I dated, I can't help but think how different my life would have been had I taken a different path.
How amazing it is that my brother Travis served with Erik in the MTC and remained good enough friends for 2 years that Trav invited Erik to lake powell.  Then by some  miracle Erik and I became friends; he lived an hour away, is 5 years older, and was at such a different time in his life than I was.  But somehow, through one year of dating, one year of being good friends, then one more year of dating and being best friends he asked me to marry him.
He is my best friend, and an amazing husband and father.  He works harder than any man I know to create a happy, loving home.  He provides, he plays, he loves.
Marriage isn't easy, but it shouldn't be hard either.  I can't help but think that there needs to be a balance of everything.  You have to work at it, but you also have to play; and play hard.  Of course there is always going to be a fight, but if you didn't fight then you wouldn't make-up.  There is a certain balance in our marriage; I know his role and he knows mine, when one of us can't fill our role then the other steps in.  Every time we go to Costco as a family we get home and we take on our roles; he unloads the truck and brings everything to the stairs of the house, the boys then bring everything from the stairs to the kitchen, and then I put everything in its place.  Each time we go to Costco as a family and we go through our routine I work in the kitchen smiling; these are not only our responsibilities after a day of shopping, these are our responsibilities for our life.  Everything we do in our life, our marriage, our family; we do it together.  We are not always smiling and happy while we do it, in fact sometimes we are crying, screaming or whining; but we still do it.....together.
Each year on our anniversary since having kids Erik and I struggle with what we should do to celebrate if anything at all.  We can never seem to decide if we should get a babysitter and go have a nice dinner or do we take the kids somewhere with us?  As we casually discuss the day we almost always come back to us as a family, we would not have the marriage that we do with out our handsome boys.  They entertain us, they play with us, they help us, they make us mad; really mad sometimes.  So when it comes to the Happy Anniversary celebration we typically choose to celebrate with our family.  It is our family unit that makes our marriage click, it is why the last thirteen years have been so rewarding and it is why the next thirteen plus are going to be just as wonderful.
Thank you Erik for the best 13years of my life, I will continue to love you, work with you, play, laugh, and cry with you.  I would not be who I am without you in my life;

Loving Summer

Here we are in the middle of July, baseball is over, football has just begun.  Water parks, hikes, vacations, rhino rides, boating, campfires, movies, and night time bike rides have all been done.  There is no better time to bond with your family than summer time.  How blessed I feel to have a husband that can come home in the middle of the day to hit up our favorite amusement park or run up to the lake.  I feel even more blessed that I look forward to him coming home early!!


Here are a few pic's to give you an idea of just how busy we keep our summers, keep in mind we are only half way done!

We started off with the Dirty Dash, next year the boys are going to join us!

 Time to remodel the Laundry room, too much wasted space.  The mess almost drove me crazy!

 Way to many rattle snakes this year.  This one had a full grown squirrel in its belly,  YES they did cut it out; they are boys.

 Family reunion to Reno, Nevada.  All of the boys had a blast.

 Slip and slide, went on forever and could have kept going!

 Sidewalk days at the Gateway, so relaxing and so many talented people.

Combining work and pleasure; Daddy had to work in St. George so we tagged along.  We got to see Zion's while we were there!

Tipton boys will be Tipton boys

It is not easy to be a wife to a Tipton boy,  I don't know if it is easier or harder for me because we live out of the "Tipton" state of California.  When I first married or even started dating Erik and we would go visit his family it was always very entertaining to watch all 4 of the bothers, if not somewhat chaotic.  As time went on and Erik and I got married and had kids the chaos of the Tipton brothers though still entertaining is still sometimes annoying. When they are having so much fun together that they forget that they have a wife and kids.  There are times when you can see any one of the Tipton wives sitting in the car with all the kids buckled up and ready to go home 40 minutes past bedtime; but the Tipton boys are so clueless as to what is going on outside their circle of fun.  How many a family reunion do we wives chase after and entertain our kids while our husbands entertain themselves with various games; R.C. cars,  pillow toss with elbow catch, baseball,  crazy high fives(this can go on for awhile), video making.  The list goes on and on.

As the years have past I have learned to be more patient and realize that they don't see each other very often.  Last night after a rainy day home with the kids Erik was sitting working on his lap top and I was doing dishes.  At the first sound of laughter I looked up to find my boys 20 minutes into a game of kick the hacky sack past the other and score a goal.  The game totally made up on the spot with rules and all.  They were entertained for an hour before it was time to cut them off and put them to bed.

As I sat recording them I couldn't help but think to myself; only a Tipton boy could be this entertained for so long.  I can only hope that my boys will grow up and have a relationship like their uncles.  I pray that they will always find joy in one anothers company, that they will have many moments of laughter together.  If I am lucky enough, maybe they will drive their wives crazy playing silly games way past the time they are suppose to be somewhere else.

Easter Sunday

Erik and I lay in bed last night going over the days events, Easter just felt different this year.  The boys are at such a weird age for Holidays.  Do they still believe?  Do they not believe? Do they  not believe but don't want to say anything for fear of not receiving gifts?  Do they not say anything because they feel the Holidays changing as much as Erik and I and they don't want to loose "that" feeling as much as we don't want to.

We started Saturday with coloring eggs, they were excited as always for about 15 minutes at which point they took a t.v. break.  One hour later  I had lay down the law and make them come and finish their eggs; 4 went un-dyed.

They weren't as excited when they went to bed that night, I usually have to pump them full of melatonin on holidays to get them to sleep, but they went down just fine.  Easter morning however they were up at the crack of dawn whispering in their room wondering what kind of tasty treats  were left for them; also probably wondering how a little tiny bunny could magically leave the whole world treats in one night.  Or is it not a tiny bunny but a 6 foot creature that maybe they should be more afraid of than excited for.

Finding their eggs was much like dying their eggs, they were done half way thru; maybe I provide too many!  The rest of the day was mostly relaxing, sitting around the house playing, watching t.v., and getting a few things done.

Grandmas house for dinner was nice as always, dinner was delicious, dessert was even better; maybe because I don't eat dessert that often anymore.  The kids played ball out back and did their PaPa easter egg hunt.   Each grandchild gets 10 eggs with $1 in each egg.  I love the money thing, my kids need more candy like I need another diet coke.

The days events are done, the kids are down for the night and Erik and I are laying in our bed feeling that it is just not the same.  Our little family is growing up and while some parts of that are great other parts, like holidays really suck.  Maybe in a year or two we will have that renewed life, that excitement again..............

Happy Easter.

PineWood Derby

Alongside homework, teaching combat, dad heading out of town, and baseball practice we had our pinewood derby last night.  Our experience at the pinewood derby taught me a lot, one is that I am growing up a little:

Carters car had the fastest speed in all four races on all four tracks, he beat out every car he raced against, and he went the furthest on the track every time.  In fact he went further and got there faster than anyone else ever did.  For some reason he did not win, maybe there was error in that of the girl that was averaging the numbers or maybe I just don't get the way that it is done.  This is what I know; I was already so upset from a number of things that had happened that evening, my blood pressure was already way up.  When I asked and heard he wasn't in the top 3 I took a deep breath then told Carter.  He was visibly upset but as I went over to gripe and complain to my mom and dad I noticed what Carter did.  He went on playing with his friends, he stood there as the awards were won and he cheered when 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prize were handed out.  He didn't give it another thought, he is a boy, he was having fun and he wasn't going to let anything stop him.

Who am I,  even as his mother to teach him to behave any different than the way he just did.  He was a good sport and a good looser even when he knew he probably should have won.  I don't know if that is a quality that can be taught or if it a quality that he just has but I am so proud of him.  Maybe I should take a step back and a deep breath every once in a while and let my kids teach me a few things.  Carter is a strong boy with a gigantic heart.

Life in the fast lane, or at least it feels that way

Here we are in the middle of April with winter, spring, and summer all in the same day.  The boys are in Baseball, practicing three times a week,  games one or two times if the weather will allow.  They have the pinewood derby tomorrow for which they are not ready, we haven't had the time or the DAD to make a car let alone two cars.  They will be just fine using their amazing cars from last year; Erik spent enough time on them to count for 2 years anyway.

I feel busy as all get out trying to put together the pinewood derby even though I asked to be released nearly 2 months ago, oh well.  I also have teacher appreciation next week that I am doing for the PTA, it is going along fairly smooth and so far hasn't consumed to much of my time.  I am also trying to kick my own butt at CrossFit.  I have some pretty lofty goals that I hope to reach by the end of the school year, when I reach my goals I will create new ones.  There is always room for improvement.

Erik is busting his butt non-stop.  Even if he isn't at work in the O.R. or at his desk his mind is going a million miles a minute.  He has been home for 4 days from his two and a half week adventure and he leaves again tomorrow.  We are starting to miss him.  This is a big lifestyle change for all four of us, we are used to being together all of the time.  It is going to take a while to get used to but I know we will, and I know it will be worth it.

Here is to hoping that it will stop raining and snowing.  Lets hope that we will soon be watching the boys play ball and that I can get my garden planted in the next couple weeks.  It is going to be a great summer I can feel it.  Let the adventure begin.

Where is spring, I think it's lost

9 days until Easter, the first day of spring was March 20; that's 3 weeks ago.  Here I sit home alone while Erik is training for his new job and it is snowing outside.  I would love to show the great pictures of our spring break that was nine days long, but we don't have any; it snowed the whole time.  In fact in 36 hours we got over 14 inches of the wettest snow ever.  Erik was bummed he wasn't here to go boarding, I was bummed that instead of riding our beach cruisers up and down the boulevard I was judging the boys in an indoor slam dunk contest; do they know that I can't judge honestly for fear of hurting ones feelings?  So, in lieu of this years spring pics you are getting exactly one year ago today.  April 14, 2010.  Please be aware of the difference so when I think back and wonder why I was so depressed spring of 2011 this blog will remind me.

This is not spring, though they look very happy we all know there should be no snow

Ice outside, if we did this today we would be doing either Hot Cocoa or using the snow to make a lemonade Icee concoction.

Yes, April 14 2010 we were having a lemonade stand while I worked in the yard

No snow what so ever.  The leaves and plants are on their way out.  Gorgeous.  This is what spring should be.

When the Bubbas were born

When the boys were first born I kept a Journal in the form of a calendar.  One of the nurses told me how much it would mean to me one day if I would just jot down a couple of details each day.  She told me how hard the next chapter of our lives was going to be and that I would most likely not remember little details.  Here is what I wrote:


Monday(Labor day) September 3, 2001
Carter and Riley are born.  Riley is 3lbs 15oz. 16 inches long
Carter is 4lbs 7oz 17inches long


Tuesday September 4
Carter is on a ventilator, Riley is on oxygen.  Both boys have I.V.'s


Wednesday September 5
Babies are good, I am discharged from the hospital today.  The boys will remain in the NICU


Friday September 7
BillyRubin is high on both.  U.V. light is turned on


Monday September 10
Billy lights were turned off. Both boys are nippling and doing Awesome.  Feeding tube is last thing to go


Wednesday September 12
Babies put in the same crib.  They LOVE it!


Thursday September 13
Carter has a Bellyache.  Riley is doing great.


Friday September 14
Boys are separated Carter is sick.  At 10p.m. he is transferred to primary children's hospital with N.E.C.
*special thanks to the amazing nurse who caught this so early.

Saturday September 15
Riley is doing good.  Carter is taken in for surgery at 9:30 p.m. It's a success, now it is time to heal.

Sunday September 16
Didn't see Riley today.  Carter doesn't look so hot.  Nurses say he is "hanging in there".  Erik and I are both emotional.

Monday September 17(2 weeks old)
Went with my mom to see Riley, he is doing awesome.  Saw Carter two times, his color is better, he is still in pain.

Tuesday September 18
Riley is doing awesome.  He weighs 4lbs 13oz.  My Mom saw Carter, he opened his eyes.  She said he looked good.

Wednesday September 19
Riley is doing good, Carter is hanging in there.  I wish they were at the same hospital.

Thursday September 20
Happy Day!  I got to breast feed Riley today.  Carter got his ventilator out.  Both babies are doing awesome.

Saturday September 22
Carter got his ART line out, his anderson tube is looking good, it might come out soon.  Riley weighs 5lbs 3oz.  He loves to breast feed.

Sunday September 23
Riley got his N.G. tube out.  Carter got his anderson tube out and is starting breast milk tonight.  AWESOME DAY!

Monday September 24( 3 weeks old)
Carter had an echo.  His P.D.A. looks smaller.  Riley will come home on Wednesday.  Both boys weigh 5lbs.1oz.

Tuesday September 25
Spent the night at Ogden Regional Medical Center

Wednesday September 26
Riley came home today!  Carter could come home in 1-2 weeks.

Thursday September 27
Carter's PIC line came out.  I put him to breast for the first time, he latched on well.  Riley was left with my Mom for the first time.

Friday September 28
37 weeks gestation.  Riley went to the Dr. he weighed 5lbs 8oz

Tuesday October 2(4 weeks old)
Carter comes home with a colostomy  bag.

Friday November 2(5 1/2 weeks after leaving primarys)
Carter goes in for his takedown.  Couldn't feed him since midnight.  He was starving.

Saturday November3
He looks so cute and chubby, he must have gained a pound.  I didn't even recognize him after surgery.

Wednesday November 7(5 days later 10 1/2 weeks old)
Carter is sent home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riley 

Carter

Carter  

Riley

My first time seeing Riley, hours after delivery 

Trying to decide who will be Carter and who will be Riley.  I think we were inspired.

Erik & Covidien

Erik Got a new gig as the Sr. Hernia Specialist for Utah, we are so proud of him.  What a great example he is to the boys that if you work hard in school and in life you can accomplish all of your dreams.
Erik has been in Connecticut for 9 days and counting, by the time he is done it will have been 2 weeks.  This is where he is being trained for his new job, I don't know if it is the hardest thing he has ever done but I am assuming that it ranks right up there.
Over the past few years Erik has worked from home where we have spent nearly everyday all day together.  Him being gone for so long has really taught me to appreciate him more.  I have always known what a great husband and father he is,  he contributes more to this family than you could ever imagine; no way would he ever let anyone label him a 50's dad.  He will get in there and help me with anything from diapers to laundry,to breakfast burritos on Sunday morning.
We can't wait for our Dad to come home so we can embark on this next journey of our lives together.
Thanks, Erik for everything you do!

Remember how cute they were?

Riley Bear

Carter

Riley

Riley, Carter, & Shane.  This is about the time uncle Shane started to touch Carter!!!

Do they get much cuter?

Ya, she is not mine!!!  Love you Kaylee

Uncle J.C. and Carter

Happy Birthday to the best dad in the world

Gramzie and Riley

Looks like Cart's can't get that head off the bed

Always holding hands.

All smiles 

Lunch time

Always a smile

Look at those cheeks

See, still smiling

Carter